Mommy Confessions

Here are some confessions I have as a Mommy:

1.Sometimes I eat ice cream in hiding. The laundry room is usually a safe spot. That way I don't have to share.

2.I also eat my lunch standing in the laundry room from time to time. My kids seem to find my hot pocket more exciting than their pb & j sandwich...which I don't blame them..but I want to be selfish and not share my hot pocket.

3.Sometimes I have to search thru a pile of clean clothes just to find a wash cloth to wipe off the kitchen table.

4.Sometimes I throw away legos. Are my kids really going to miss that one teeny tiny yellow square one that keeps finding its way in the corner of the kitchen floor no matter how many times I pick it up??? Nah...just toss it in the trash. DISCLAIMER: we have a HUGE box of random legos that don't really go with any lego sets we have. My kiddos are pretty good at keeping all the pieces to those sets together...i'm just talking about the random ones that they can play with anytime. So don't worry...they won't be missing an important piece to anything. :)

5.Sometimes I have a can of coke first thing in the morning. Coffee is good..but nothing gets ya going like a coke! (trying so hard to break the habit. I do better in winter because I drink coffee in the morning)

6.Sometimes I yell more than I should.

7.Sometimes I like to get lost in text conversations with my sister or a good friend. Sometimes it's the only adult conversation I have in a day (well, besides talking to my husband).

8.I LOVE to lick the spoon after mixing up cake batter or better yet eat raw cookie dough. (PLEASE don't tell my kids--they make such a mess when licking spoons that I really play up the whole "you can't eat raw eggs" so I can keep the mess at a minimum and well, ya know...eat it myself!)

9.I sometimes ignore my kids' cries. WAIT...before you think I'm a horrible mother let me explain. There are MANY different types of cries that my kids have. MOST of them are ones that I can slowly respond to and usually by the time I get there they don't even remember why they were crying. Of course I know the "I JUST CUT MY FINGER OFF scream"..those don't get ignored.

10.I eat dinner while making dinner if it's at all possible (lately I've been holding a baby so it's not too easy to eat and make dinner with one hand). I mean, it's either eat it as I'm making it OR eat cold food. Usually I spend all of dinner dishing out food to kiddos and cleaning up messes and all that I would much rather have already ate. SO I usually just put a small amount of food on my plate to snack on while everyone else eats. (that way they don't question why I'm not eating). It works out pretty well.

What do YOU need to confess?

The Birth Story of Baby #5

Baby #5 was born 6 months ago...and yes, I am FINALLY getting around to blogging about his birth story. (not like I've had nothing else to do) I do have to say his story, while it's VERY special to me, will not be as exciting to read as his sisters birth story. (read her birth story HERE )

Let's see if I can even remember (just kidding). On the evening of April 23, 2012 I was scheduled to go to the hospital for an induction. I was told at my last Dr appointment that it would be best to induce due to the size of this baby. (I have very large babies so it's something they always monitor towards the end). While I did want to have the experience and excitement of going into labor on my own again, I was more than willing to be induced. For some reason I was SUPER nervous walking to the hospital that night. I don't know why. Heck, I've done this 4 times before. I guess just because it's almost been 3 yrs since I had my last baby. It was our biggest age gap between babies. 2 yrs and 10 months. (too long in my opinion but he came in God's perfect timing, not mine)

I got all checked into the hospital. Put on my lovely gown and then I started to get iv's and monitors all strapped to me. (the whole time I was thinking...ugh...wish I didn't feel so attached...I just wanted to be free...BUT since I was being induced..I knew this came with the territory).

I was told they would begin the induction at midnight. They would give me cervidal and it should start my labor and if it didn't, they would give me pitocin in the morning. Well, when I got there...turns out I was indeed already in early labor. I had NO clue. I had been contracting heavily...and honestly...didn't feel a thing. They were shocked that I wasn't feeling them. (see, that's how it was with my 4th baby...I had NO clue I was in labor...until I was REALLY in labor about to push out the baby!). SO my doctor decided it was best to wait on the cervidal until 2am. (my guess is he assumed I would go into full labor with the cervidal and he didn't want to make a trip to the hospital in the middle of the night). So I layed awake there for hours....expecting to go into full force labor at any moment...but 2am came...and nothing. I was still only dialated to 3cm as I had been when I arrived at the hospital. SO at 2am they gave me cervidal. The night nurses still expected me to deliver by early morning. But nope...7:00am came and new nurses came in. (I was sad because I REALLY enjoyed the nurse that was there on the night shift). SO they started pitocin. Contractions were definetly stronger with the pitocin. But I wasn't dialating anymore. I was getting slightly worried that this child would NEVER come.

A few hours went by. They upped my pitocin and I requested the epidural. Forget natural labor. I felt like I would be there for awhile and the contractions were definetly getting worse. What can I say...I am weak when it comes to pain. I wanted SO badly to not get an epidural...BUT at the moment I needed it. I was SO happy once it was in. (and on a side note...wow...that was the best anesiologist....not a single ounce of pain or trouble getting that epi in! ) Finally I was relieved of pain. Ahh...yes, that familar warm sensation taking over my lower half of my body. I found it VERY relaxing. NOW I was ready to have this baby.

They checked me and I was only dialated to 4cm. I couldn't believe it. It was 1:00pm. I was suppose already have a baby in my arms. Then all of a sudden I called the nurse because I swear I felt like I needed to push (yes, I know I had an epidural...but I promise you, you can still feel the urge to push. I know they say you can't but I definetly felt it with all 4 of my epidurals I had). Sure enough, I was dialated to 10cm. I went from 4 to 10 in 15 minutes! Crazy! I was going to have this baby after all!

While I was pushing I had the nurse in my face telling me I could do this. She was very nice about it and I didn't mind her pep talk. Figured out later she was trying to distract me. She was telling me to push. I wondered why they kept looking at the baby's heart monitor. Then tons of nurses came over. My doctor kind of seemed worried...but then at the same time I didn't notice what was going on until after the fact. (thanks to that nurse who distracted me so I didn't start to worry). His heart rate kept going way down but when I pushed he wasn't coming out. Then finally one more good push and he was out. Come to find out the cord was around his neck. They put my precious baby boy on my chest. I cut the cord (I've cut all of my babies cords except my first one--he had heart issues right away so I didn't even get to hold him until he was a few hours old. My husband just can't handle that type of stuff, I'm happy to just have him at my side for the birth and not fainting on the ground so I am happy to cut the cord)

On April 24, 2012 1:47pm Colton Jayhawk was born. He weighed 9 lbs 2oz and was 21 1/4 inches long. I was and still am completely and utterly in love with him. He is such a blessing and I couldn't thank God enough for blessing us with another precious child. Every good and perfect gift is from above... James 1:17

**and yes, I REALLY did put Jayhawk as his middle name on his birth certificate. For those of you that may not know what a Jayhawk is. Its my husbands ultimate favorite college basketball team. Kansas Jayhawks. He's cheered for them his whole life. While I wanted to name him Colton Ryan (after my husband) he wanted to name him Colton Jayhawk. I couldn't help but love the smile on his face when I agreed to it. After all, it was baby #5 I suppose I could let him win one of his crazy sports name. He originally wanted his first name Jay and his middle name Hawk. That wasn't happening...(even though I do like the name "Jay"..). So there you have it. Colton Jayhawk. I was even told I could call him Colton Jay...but for some reason...I don't mind saying Colton Jayhawk.

Back in the Saddle

I'm back. Yes, I know, I have had other blog posts stating that. But its true I truly am back in the blogging world. (wink-that wink is to cover me in case I dont blog for another 6 months). BUT I now have a smartphone so I can now write my posts on it. I never thought I would have a need for this fancy phone but turns out I dont need a computer but most definetly NEED my phone. During nursing sessions a lot can get done on this phone. So anyways. Yes, I am back in the blogging saddle. So much has happened since my last blog post. The birth of our 5th baby (post on his birth story coming soon)and moving (yes, again but I will blog about how its different this time) So hello and welcome back to my life. More posts coming very soon.

Where I've been....

I have been HORRIBLE at blogging. Even after I said I was going to be BETTER at blogging and keeping up with it. Even though I WANTED to keep up. In my mind I had about 100 blog entries. I even have a few of them partically written. Just never got around to posting. Life gets busy. So here is basically EVERYTHING in a nutshell of what has been going on. Warning: they are VERY random thoughts. And for the record...I'm not going to promise consistant blog posts anymore. I will post when I can. :)

* I'm 34 weeks pregnant with baby #5.

* I waddle when I walk.

* I have my hospital bags packed and ready to go.

* I have decided to embark on a new adventure with this baby. CLOTH DIAPERING! I'm really excited to start. I mean...I already have load upon load of laundry to do. Whats an extra load every other day right? And my MAIN motivation for doing this is the fact that I will save our family LOTS of money. I am home all day with my kiddos. The least I can do is try to save some money. I figured this was a good way to do it. And give me brownie points with the environment as well. (does that cancel out the fact that I purchased a bunch of paper plates, cups, bowls, & silverware to use after the baby is born???) I've been researching it since I was pregnant with #4 so I just decided to go with it.

* I started to pass out today in the dr office while they were trying to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was somewhat embarassing. The whole room turned black so I quickly rolled onto my left side. Note to self: Do not lay on your back for more than a few seconds. (my big prego belly just crushes my lungs causing me to not be able to breathe!)

* The kids are about done with their school year. YAY...something FINALLY went as planned. :) The goal was to be done before baby arrived.

* Right now...for the first time in almost 9 yrs I don't have a child in diapers nor do I carry a diaper bag. (I gave up carrying a purse and just used the diaper bag as my purse for the past 8 1/2 yrs until about 6 months ago when gracie no longer needed me to bring a change of clothes with us wherever we went--she's been potty trained since 18 months of age). At one point I even had 3 kids in diapers at one time! But I'm actually excited to get back to using a diaper bag. I bought a super cute one...and I just don't have enough room in my purse...So I don't mind carrying just a diaper bag.

* I'm obsessed with grapes and cream cheese fruit dip. It's my third trimester pregnancy craving.

* I have been HORRIBLE at taking pictures lately. I barely take any of the kids. Must.get.better.at.that. Nor have I taken any pregnancy shots. Usually I'm all about taking lots of my big ol' belly. I guess I"m just too lazy to do it these days. So strange...because most would consider me a compulsive photo taker.

* As uncomfortable as I am right now...I'm still going to miss being pregnant after the baby is born. It's so entertaining to lay on the couch and feel the baby move.

* I am hoping to not have an epidural with this baby (had 3 epidurals and didn't have one with the last one...great experience!) BUT I still have the thought of it in the back of my mind if for some reason this baby decides to take awhile.

* I hope to make it to the hospital for the birth of this baby. I'm not kidding either. My dr is even concerned because we live 30 min from the hospital! Barely made it last time.

* I am predicting that my next blog post will have to do with the birth of baby beers #5. :)

There you have it. Those are the thoughts that just popped out of my brain and into my blog post. As you can see...most if not ALL of my thoughts revolve around my big belly and the baby inside.

SNOW DAY!!!

Last week we got snow...okay, so not very much snow. But enough that the kids were SOOO excited. I love their excitement as the first few flakes start to fall. They squeal with delight. I love it!

Since we homeschool, my kids don't get the fun of having an "actual" snow day from school. We just go on with our normal activities. I had told the kids that once they finished ALL their school for the day they could bundle up and head outside. (I didn't want to let them take their normal break to head outside because I knew it would take MUCH longer to get all 4 of them bundled up only to have them come right back in). They got their breaks but it was for inside play not outside. My kids FLEW through their school work. Not saying they didn't learn anything, but they didn't waste ANY time getting their work done. They even wanted to work thru their breaks. They were done before lunch! So after lunch we bundled them up and let them out into the frigid, cold air. They had a blast even though there was very little snow. I enjoyed watching from inside the warm house.

I am not cut out for this!

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

So many people have made the comment to me "I don't know how you do it! I could never homeschool!" I promise you I do not have some magical power that enables me to take on this difficult task. Nor do I have a special gifting for homeschooling. I don't have a ton of patience either. That is something I'm learning each and every day. Most days I feel at some point or another that I failed at something. I say "I am so not cut out for this!" Some days I feel so unadequate. I feel uncertain how to juggle a 3rd grader who struggles with staying on task, while trying to work extra with a 1st grader learning to read, an eager to learn preschooler, a very active toddler and adding a new baby to the mix soon. I really wonder, "Do I really have what it takes?"

But you know, that is where God wants me to be. What role would God have in my life if I felt I could do everything without Him? I must find my strength and energy and confidence in the Lord.

Sometimes its seems so simple to give up. But when I feel that way I need to turn to God and let HIS power give me the strength. It's only by God's grace that I can do what I do. So I am not anymore capable of doing what I do than the people who say they could never homeschool.

So if you think that you could NEVER homeschool know that with Gods help you can. If it's something you desire in your heart go for it! Or if you are homeschooling and feel inadequate know it's okay because you are inadequate but that is where God comes in and makes you adequate to complete the task.

This is something I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself of. Some days go so well, and then there are very hard days that follow. I have to remember that God is with me and will help me through those times. I need to let Him work thru me. It's only because of HIM that I can do what I do. So it's true...I am SO not cut out for this. But thankfully God's grace is sufficient for me.

M.O.M - Mom of Many

I'm in the process of giving my blog a facelift. It also includes a new blog title. "Pieces of Me" just wasn't quite doing it for me. So I have come up with a new title. "Thoughts from a M.O.M"

Am I REALLY a "Mom of Many" now? When I think about it...I would answer "No". I mean...I'm ONLY on baby #5. Is that really a lot? I guess by societys standards today that is a crazy amount of kids. To me, well, it's just my life (which I LOVE by the way). I was thinking about this the other day when I heard what sounded like a herd of elephants running thru the house. It seriously sounded like I had 20 kids running...but nope..only my 4 kiddos...which is just 8 feet running around. Then I got to thinking about when #5 is running around. That IS many children...so I suppose I can say I am a "M.O.M -- Mom of Many!".

Then I was thinking about all the things that go on in one day at our home with so many little ones running around. I'm sure I have a crazy experience I could share on a daily basis. No day around here is ordinary...well, I suppose it's OUR ordinary day but perhaps not the typical day others would find ordinary. I mean, seriously when do you have one child break a snow globe and have another child fall on the glass and cut up their foot and then while going to get the broom to clean up the glass hear a big CRASH and realize your christmas tree was just knocked down by the 4 yr old hiding behind it. Then when you go and try to put the tree up it falls down the other direction. And by this time 4 children are crying and saying Christmas is ruined and the 4 yr old that knocked it over is hanging his head and wandering around the house singing "we wish you a merry christmas" in a sad, sad tone. I can't make this stuff up people...THIS is my reality. This type of stuff happens on a daily basis.

So I have done much thinking with this blog. It was getting boring to me. It wasn't heading in the direction i wanted it to. It started out as a place for me to update my friends and family. Then I wanted to share new things I was learning and trying out. And other times I wanted to just share my thoughts whether deep ones or just silly ones. Most of them have to do with being a mother. So I found that a new title was needed for this blog so that is where "Thoughts from a M.O.M" came from.

So there you have it.