Goal #1

Goal #1---To become a "better" Mommy
As I stated in my last post (click HERE to read) I have made MANY goals for this new year. Not just for this year but for my lifetime. YES, I did say lifetime. I do NOT want to achieve these goals then quit. My goals have to do with my life and not just something I change then revert back to how I was or what I was doing. At least that is the plan. I'm not saying I'll be perfect and NEVER go back. But if I do..then something needs to change and I need to re-set my goals.

I talked about 7 different areas of achievement in my last post. Financial, Physical, personal development, family, spiritual, social and career. The goal I worked on setting today (I'm just TOO busy with the kids to sit down and write out ALL my goals in one day--so I'm going to take this whole week to get my goals set) is in the area of family. I stated at the end of my last post that I wanted to be a "better" wife and mother. What exactly is better? I don't suppose you ever get to the point of being the "best". Who is the BEST mother out there? I believe everyone would have a different opinion. For me, I just want to become the BEST that I can be. I know I can be better. I know I have MANY things I need to work on. I'm not saying I'm horrible but I know I can ALWAYS do better in certain areas. I have done some research in my Bible and in a devotional book I have called "One Hundred and One Devotions for Homeschool Moms". It has great little nuggets that has helped me through each day. They all pertain to motherhood whether homeschooling or not.

Today I wrote out five notecards of things I want to work on and KNOW I need a constant reminder of. I decided to put them on notecards so I could put them up somewhere where I would see them on a daily basis. It wouldn't help me to take notes on things I wanted to change but then have that notebook shoved away somewhere where I would forget to look at it. I am going to keep them on the fridge so I can see them daily (many times a day..as I seem to spend most of my day in the kitchen especially since we do school at the kitchen table) and have a CONSTANT visual reminder of what I'm working on. I also put Bible verses on the back of the cards that go along with what I'm working so I have some biblical encouragement as well.

Here are the five things I'm going to DILIGENTLY work on. I'm going to word them JUST as I have them on the notecards--then explain them further. Here goes.

1. GENTLE TONE
--My words MUST be KIND!!!
--It's not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

This is one I feel I need MAJOR help with. I don't mean to say things in a not so nice way...but I know there are times (too many times in my opinion) I don't use a "gentle tone". I let daily frustrations or circumstances dictate how I talk to my kids at times. I need to talk to them just as I would a friend or even a stranger for that matter. I need to always speak kind and speak "gentle". I'm not saying I say "mean" things to my kids. I'm just saying that I don't answer them kindly all the time. Example: My child: Mommy, come here for a second. Me: HOLD ON! My child (a second later) Mommy, come here! Me:I SAID HOLD ON!! My child (a few seconds later): Mommy, are you coming?? Me: I told you to HOLD ON!!!!! I'm not saying I"m screaming as in YELLING VIOLENTLY at them or anything. But I am sure there is frustration in my voice. I am just not speaking kindly. You get my drift right? I could say the EXACT same thing, but say it in a sweet, gentle tone. And throw in a little patience in there for myself as well(by knowing..that in the mind of kids..that few seconds of waiting is an ETERNITY!). I don't mean to candy coat it into something fake either. I just mean talk to them how i would answer say the cashier at the store or a friend. And this goes not only for how I speak to my kids but ALSO my husband. It doesn't matter what took place during the day or how I'm feeling. I shouldn't talk to him without using kind words or tone either. Sure, I'm with these people day in and day out which is ALL the more reason to speak gentle to them. I love them more than ANYTHING...my words and tone should reflect the feelings in my heart for them. Not the feelings I have towards the pile of dishes in my sink.

2. MEEK and QUIET SPIRIT
--Meek=mild, not easily irritated.
--Quiet=still, peaceful, calm, not troubled.
--when irritated remain calm and keep your mouth SHUT!

"blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth" Matthew 5:5

There are SO many times that I just speak out of frustration rather than bite my tongue. Not even at anyone in particular just at myself! But still, I'm not having a meek and quiet spirit by doing that. What is that showing my kids? I respond to circumstances. If things are going GREAT then I act on that but if things aren't going so hot I react on that too, unfortunatly in a negative way at times. Trying to keep my mouth shut at times is hard and when I do actually do that I still have those negative feelings inside. So I didn't "act" on them, yet I still feel them. Isn't that ALMOST as bad? Wouldn't that make me be a meek and quiet person on the OUTSIDE but definetly not have that type of spirit? A true meek and quiet spirit stays calm on the INSIDE as well as OUTSIDE. Something I am making it my goal to work on. I need to not only bite my tongue but also pray and ask God to change my spirit into one that is meek and quiet. As it states in this scripture verse:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4

3. LAUGH
--Laugh Together Often

"a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance" Ecclesiastes 3:4

This is something we do...but I want to do it more. There are times that I laugh with my kids, but I laugh on the inside so I want to make it a point to laugh with them. It will lighten up the load when we can just have fun and laugh. This is a simple thing and a fun thing. I didn't want all my things I wanted to change to be difficult. I needed something light like this.

4. KEEP YOUR WORD
--Don't make promises you can't keep.
--Follow through on what you said you would do.

"But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him." 1 John 2:5 KJV

Many times right before bed I've had my kids say to me "Mommy, you said we were going to (fill in the blank) today". Yes, I did indeed say we were going to do something. And when I said it, I had every intention to do it. But as the day went on and got busy I forgot and then was reminded of it right at bedtime when there was not time to do whatever it was. My heart would sink. I let my kids down, again. I want them to know they can count on me for stuff. I don't want them to think I make empty promises. When I say we are going to do something, we are going to do it! It's better to not say anything and then at the last minute tell them we are going to do something than it is is say something and then not do it. I do realize that sometimes things come up and we can't do what was planned but I don't want my kids to see that as something that ALWAYS happens. Our kids may not remember down the road that one thing we said we would do and didn't do but they WILL remember that we did NOT keep our word. Our dependability is questionable. I do not want my kids to think I'm not dependable.

My last notecard is COVERED with writing. I didn't know how to write it in a few words...so i wrote all that I could fit on it. Here is what it says:

5. Are you PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTED? Are you MENTALLY DRAINED? Is ther MORE TO BE DONE than there is TIME TO GET IT DONE?
--Let the BIBLE be your source of STRENGTH.
--Take 5 MINUTES to refresh with God's word!!!!

"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Sometimes I get SO stressed out and overwhelmed when I think of everything I have to get done. Nothing is going right. I just can't possibly keep up. I don't know where to begin. I walk in circles trying to be productive when in fact I'm getting NOTHING done. I mutter prayers to God. I ask for help, I ask for strength. But I forget to read my instruction manual in those stressful times. The answers are in God's word if I would just take a few minutes to refresh and read. I decided I need a constant reminder of that so I wanted this on a notecard to remind me of that.

So there you have it. The first of my MANY goals is set into action. I may add to those note cards as I find more places I need/want to change.

Children are a blessing....

Yesterday I went to Walgreens. As I was checking out I was holding Gracie (she was done wanting to be in the cart and since she can climb out of pretty much any buckle, I was holding her to keep her from falling out of the cart while I was checking out.) Mason was in the back of the cart so I could keep a close eye on him while I was checking out. While I was paying, the cashier was talking to Mason. I made the comment about how he was in his "running around" mood so I placed him in the back of the cart so he wouldn't run off. She then said to him "next time you should stay home with Daddy so Mommy can shop". Then I made the comment "oh, I have one at home already with Daddy". Then she said, "you have four kids?" I said, "yes, I do!" I said it with a smile on my face. I was proud of my 4 kids, I feel completely blessed by my four kids, so I'm sure the way I answered showed that. At least I hoped it did. But then the cashier said the most jaw dropping comment to me. She said, "oh, you poor thing!". I didn't say ANYTHING....my jaw hit the ground I'm sure. Did I hear her right? Yes, I DID hear her right. And the way she said it, she said it with such sympathy. Like someone who just said they were beat up or hurting really bad, not like someone who was blessed with children. I didn't even have a comment to make to her statement. At that moment that is. Now if she were say that to me again, I would have PLENTY to say to her about how much of a blessing my kids are to me. but at that moment she left me speechless. As I was walking away she then shouted out "you are done right? no more kids right?" I just nodded. It wasn't a nod to yes or a nod to no. Just a nod to acknowledge she spoke to me. Then she said, "I hope not, for your sake!" She said all this with a smile and kinda almost laughing. If she was saying this to be funny, I wasn't AT ALL amused. I'm sure she MENT what she said. This is OBVIOUSLY how she felt because why would she say it if you didn't think so?

After I left I felt SO angry towards that woman. How dare she make it out that my kids are a nuisense to me? How dare she act like I would be better off with less kids than what I ALREADY have? I was then so hurt feeling. Do people really view children this way? I have FOUR and each and every one of them are the most precious blessing I could EVER have received. Does that mean they are perfect? NO. Does that mean we don't ever have difficult times? NO. Does that mean I don't ever want to pull my hair out? NO. But those difficult times aren't a reason for me to ever wish I didn't have one of my children. God gave me them. They are a GIFT from HIM. A blessing. I don't understand how ANYONE can view them as anything but that.

I've been told comments by strangers before such as "wow, you have your hands full". That comment isn't QUITE as bad. I have to agree...my hands are full most of the time. But so is my heart. It's full of love for my children. God doensn't give us more than we can handle. Sure, with my own ablity I probably can't "handle" all four kids BUT that is why I rely on God--to help me and to enable me to do what I need to do. I've also been told by others "I hope you don't have any more kids". Seriously? How does that affect them? It hurts more than anything. Especially because we have been told that before we have had the four we already have. So it's like saying they hoped we didn't have our last two children. That BREAKS my heart. They are SUCH a blessing to me and couldn't imagine not having them a part of our lives. As far as the future and more children. Only God truly knows that answer. I'm completely content with our four but if God chooses to bless us again I will be thrilled and if he doesn't I already consider us fully blessed!

I don't want you to think that I think I'm a perfect parent. By no means am I saying that. I am DAILY on my knees asking God to help me with parenting issues. Either asking for forgiveness because I didn't have the patience I should have had or raised my voice when I shouldn't have or I'm asking for his guidence to guide us through raising our kids. I can't do this without God's help.

So maybe those people who make comments like that don't REALLY know what it's like to do this parenting thing with God on their side? Maybe they are doing this truly "on their own". I suppose then kids would be viewed more as a burden rather than a blessing. Maybe when I hear comments like that I need to let them know that with God all things are possible and without HIS help I couldn't do this either. Without God's help (or my husband's help) I would truly be "a poor thing" as that woman at Walgreens said. Maybe that is what this has taught me.


Children are a gift from the Lord;they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

Quote of the Day

The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children. — Charlotte Mason

Take me out to the ball game...

Last night we got free tickets to go the Naturals baseball game (our minor league team). We thought it would a relaxing family event. Turns out that when you have a 5 yr old who has been in school all day, a 3 yr old who was over tired and an 8 month old baby, a baseball game isn't all it's cracked up to be!!! It was good for the 1st 30 min. We all sat and actually watched the game. Then jordan was thirsty so I went to go get something. I stood in line for 20 minutes and never moved. So I gave up. A drink wasn't that important, to me that is..to jordan it was a different story. Then we needed to take a trip to the bathroom. I first changed Mason, then brought him back out to Ryan, then went and changed Mya, then brought her out to Ryan, THEN took Jordan in with me so we could both go to the bathroom! About 20 minutes later we were done with our bathroom break! Then the kids wanted to play on the playground they had there which kinda defeated the purpose of going to a baseball game..you couldn't even watch from there. But we took the kids...there were TONS of kids on there and lots of older kids. It was too hard to keep track of ours so we decided to go back and watch the game. That didn't go over very well with our very cranky kids! After about 20 more minutes of watching the game we decided to go home. There were suppose to be fireworks at the end but we were only in the 7th inning and neither Ryan or I wanted to wait any longer. So we headed home. All 3 kids were alseep after about 5 minutes. Our drive home was about 35 minutes. Here are a few pictures that I took just so I had a slight memory of us being at the game that night!

The coffee is brewing...

It's one of those mornings...I just HAD to make some coffee. I don't always drink coffee in the morning. I'm not one of those people that have to have their morning coffee to function. I like it but truthfully...I'm too lazy to get it started in the morning...and by the time I get it made it usually ends up being cold in my mug because I'm too busy to drink it. In the winter I'm a little more motivated to make it for some reason. But today is a coffee day for sure. I was up till 2am (not doing anything important, just going thru my pictures). Then Mason woke up at 3am (which is normal for him) but by the time I got him all settled back to sleep in our bed I couldn't fall back asleep. When I did it seemed like just a few hours later Jordan came in our room (at about 6:30am) asking to lay in bed with us. Of course he didn't just lay...he tossed and turned and kept talking to Mason which made him want to stay awake. So finally at 7:30am I gave it up and got up. Now I'm dragging and SO tired. Not to mention I have a hyper baby boy on my hands as well. He won't just play, he feels the need to crawl and get into everything right now!!!!!!!!!!! Man, I'm tired! Now my coffee is done. Yum, coffee with 1% milk and splenda...okay, it's not Yum...some flavored creamer would taste much better but it's all I have right now. Maybe the caffiene will kick in soon and give me a little boost of energy.

Only 8 minutes left.....

Okay, so Mason is crying in his bed right now...i'm sorry, not crying, SCREAMING! I'm trying to block it out..but I just can't. I feel so bad. I suppose you are wondering why I'm not running in there to pick him up, right?!?! Well, I'm attempting to let him "cry it out". I'm doing all I can to keep my butt planted on this seat and not run in there to pick him up. I know he's SO tired. He keeps falling asleep in my arms. I mean it won't be 2 seconds and he'll be completely sound asleep. But the second I put him in his bed he wakes up. He needs to learn to sleep in his bed. He does sleep in there at night but only after about 10pm. Before that he sleeps in my arms. It just gets so hard to hold him and try to get the other 2 kids ready for bed and spend time reading to them and doing our bedtime routine. It's one thing if Mason was awake during all that but he is usually asleep. Okay, so now there is only 4 minutes left until I told myself I would go in there and comfort him then walk back out with hopes he will stay laying down and drift off into a peaceful sleep. I don't know if i can make it thru though another 15 minutes of this. I'm sure i'll see his little tear stained face and scoop him up into my arms and squeeze him tight and tell him I love him and that I'm SO sorry. Then he will wrap his little arms around me and nestle his face in my neck. And there we go...another night that I said I would let him "cry it out" and then just couldn't do it. Okay, time is up...time to go and rescue Mason from trying to go to sleep.