Today was Jordan's 1st day of school...Kindergarten. I can't believe it. I have so many emotions and feelings running thru me right now. I'm happy for him because I know how excited he is and how he loves learning. I'm sad because he is my baby and starting school is a sign of growing up. I'm also worried about him. He is such a little kid and school seems SO BIG! I feel like he's going to get lost. But then the I think, "shawna, they aren't going to just let kindergarteners go off by themselves". I know that but i have to keep reminding myself that. Then i'm worried he'll have to use the bathroom but not want to ask and then have an accident. I'm also worried he will get carried away with talking and get in trouble his first day (he likes to socialize a little too much!). I'm also worried he won't have enough milk with his lunch. I'm worried he won't have a sip of milk left to wash down his last bite of food. I'm also worried he's going to get food all over his clothes and look messy. I'm worried he'll fall on the playground. I'm worried he will be really hungry before lunch. I'm worried he'll spill his drink at snack time since he's used to using sippy cups at home. AHHH...i could keep listing my worries! Am I a freak? What is wrong with me? Why am I so worried? He is only 5 yrs old...I've NEVER left him with anyone other than family EVER...so now i feel like I'm abandoning him and leaving him with a stranger all day. Besides being all worried, I am really excited for him. I can't wait to pick him up at 3pm and hear all about his day. I am proud of myself though, I didn't cry. I did get choked up though once we got in the school and I could see all the little backpacks hanging on the hooks in the hallway. I never thought this day would come and here it is. My baby is growing up. I get to do this again in 2 years and then again in 5 yrs...I think i need to keep having babies so I will always have one at home with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, now i'm off to go grocery shopping with only 2 kids!!!!!! That will seem so strange to me!
4 comments:
ahhhhhhhh... you are so strong, i probably would have balled my eyes out. i can't believe how big he is... he is like a little man! be strong lou!
he is such a big boy! such a cutie.
No you are not alone...yes most mom's have those worries and more. (My mom was afraid I would suck my fingers at nap time and the kids would make fun of me...I did, they did).
My first thought with Lyda and kindergarten was ... "there are so many other kids"...For first grade it was, "there are way too many other kids and parents I don't know" By second grade I calmed down. Then when she went to middle school my first thought was "THERE ARE GIANTS IN THE LAND!! And my little girl is sooooooooooooooooo little."
When she went to college, my thought was, "who are all these men and why are they looking at my little girl like that?" Then I realized they were her age and she was looking back! LOL.
Each phase comes with its own worries, and each phase finds us sleeping a bit less easily and then one morning we wake up and realize that even though we miss them terribly they are on the road we took ?? years ago and our parents went through the same thoughts and feelings....
Keep hold of him as you give him more freedom. Don't kick out of any nest, we aren't birds. With God's grace and your mama's heart you will know how much to let go and when to pull back. Don't let anyone tell you that you "have to let him fly." That is between you, his daddy and the Lord. And no one else!
(Yes this is a soap box for me).
You're in my thoughts and prayers Shawna!!
Btw he is a cutey!!! You must be so proud.
Shawna...you sopund just like your om did on your 1st day of scool...Auntie C
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